I've been trying to get out and enjoy this beautiful part of the world i now call home. Its easy to become bogged down with the monotony of everyday life and forget how easy it is to escape that. So i’ve pulled on my warmest clothes, laced up my trusty boots (and my trainers some days too) and set off camera in hand to explore. My feet have tread some very muddy paths, my fingers have been frozen my hair a windswept tangled mess- its been wonderful. Discovering beautiful houses overlooking the water, pointed purple shells, wild beaches and sand bars, roaring waves towering cypress trees and sleepy fishing villages. Daffodils, snowbells, hellebores and primroses peek out from the sodden earth; tiny earthen beacons of hope for the light days of spring to come. Brilliant pink camelias are even flowering in my tiny "garden". I've found myself smiling and breathing and feeling free. So so free.
Amongst the trees, home Beside the ocean, free Under the blue sky, alive If only i could hold on to those feelings, if i could inhale them deep into my lungs, into my bloodstream to become part of me. But they are so temporary and slip out of my grasp before ive had a chance to really feel them. I think i need a holiday, im so overwhelmed and anxious and im not sure how much longer i can continue. Its all too much, im too much. I dont really know how im still going to be honest, i often just want to curl up into a ball and sleep forever. My constant quest for food is likely what gets me up in the morning. My savior and my demise. I try reading, crochet, making things but none of it excites me or stimulates me and i just end up in my bed worrying, regretting, overthinking. But heres to days off spent exploring wild and beautiful places, to ancient woodland, endless beaches and vast blue skies. The things that make us feel alive and our worries insignificant. Even if the feelings cant last, be fully there to enjoy it while its happening. I know, my god do i know, what its like to feel despair but keep holding out for those blissful moments. They will help you through the bad days if only for the hope of another. And there will always be another; go outside, look up, breathe in, repeat.
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LittlebirdJenna. Free spirit, flower enthusiast, seeker of truths. Archives
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