Its funny having winter in July, even if it isn’t too dissimilar to a Scottish summer. I do miss the long light nights, lush green grass dappled in sunlight and arriving home with bunches of flowers; glowing from the sheer beautiful glory of a summer evening. I’m not at all complaining about the weather though, its sunny most days and not actually cold; Australia has made a sissy of me and 20 degrees feels pretty chilly to me. I shudder at the mere thought of actual cold weather. I’ve moved to a new house and its paradise. Tucked behind a pink wooden house on a quiet street; a lush abundant garden with a lemongrass plant, tumbling succulents and a little treehouse. My housemate is the loveliest person ever and i feel like the luckiest person ever to call this home, even if only for a few months. I like long days off with nothing to do but be. Pure freedom. I can fill my days very easily, i’m never bored. I love getting up, taking my time, faffing about and running for as long as i want, not having to rush or check the time. I don't usually run with music or my phone, I don't own a watch as I have no real need for one and i hope its always that way. My schedule is my own and i have a pretty good internal clock now. I’ve found a quiet kind of happiness here, i have bad days of course but i'm quite content living in this lovely cosy plant filled house, making tiny things with clay and spending my evenings watching netflix, eating chocolate. I have a wonderful American friend Amanda; she is a true blessing and i'm so grateful to have her to share beach walks, houmous and my ridiculous anxieties with. All you really need is one good friend. The cafe is pretty stressful and a lot of work, i tend to let it all overwhelm me, i overthink or over plan and over do everything. Its only stressful because I make it that way so i’m trying to re-frame my thoughts and breatheeee. Always breathe. Really, it’s a good life and i don’t want anything else. I like the casual way of living here, shoes are optional, sandy beach hair is the norm and no one cares what im wearing, least of all me. I go to the beach almost everyday, sand is a part of me now. Vitaminsea. Here's what July has taught me:
So, I have a plan until mid September; i’ll be here in Freo running the cafe. After that i don't know, there's a lot of conflicting thoughts but as always, i just want to be free. I don't want to be tied to anything so i’m just waiting until i find my next thing. I have until February on this visa, if i want another year i can work on a farm for 88 days. That sounds about as appealing to me as a poke in the eye with a rusty nail. I’m not thrilled by that prospect, but what if i regret not having a second year option? Is the 3 months of hell worth it? I don't know. The unknown is panicking me a little so i’m avoiding thinking about it. Its a funny old life; it struck me that i don't really have a normal; I exist wherever i find myself to be and just make a life as best i can. It’s the only kind of life i know and, as much as i yearn to feel rooted, i dont know that i ever fully will be. Rootless and fancy free, ‘tis the life that's meant for me.
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LittlebirdJenna. Free spirit, flower enthusiast, seeker of truths. Archives
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