![]() Bouquet: noun meaning an attractively arranged bunch of flowers. Introduced from Old French bochet, from bois (“woods”) and Medieval Latin boscus (“grove”). Flower arranging is one of my all time favourite things to do in the whole wide world. Its up there beside eating chocolate, reading Harry Potter, chopping herbs and falling asleep in the sun. I'm a very exciting person evidently. I’ve been doing some reading and it appears that it is an archaic hobby. Its not really surprising as flowers stand the test of time, they are always beautiful, no fashion trend or passing fad. Nevertheless i found out some interesting things and wanted to share my findings in this flower filled space. I imagine that from the very first time a human set eyes on a flower, they were compelled to stop and admire it, smell and then eventually pick it. Its irresistible! I wonder what flower it was? The oldest evidence of formal arranging into vases comes from ancient Egypt, and records of flower arrangements date all the way back to 2500 BC. The sacred lotus was widely used and is depicted in hieroglyphs from this era. The Egyptian also used herbs, palms, irises, anemones, and narcissus. Amazing that these flowers still thrive today! Flower-arranging as an art form was brought to Japan by Buddhist monks, who learned it from the Chinese. In ancient China, flower-arranging developed into a highly refined art form, based on the principle that all life is sacred, including the life of plants; therefore cut flowers were used sparingly in very carefully planned arrangements. I do sometimes feel a bit bad for cutting flowers as i am of the same opinion but i still do it...Flowers were a traditional ritual offering among Buddhists and they still are. My time in Asia confirms this- garlands of marigolds adorn shrines and temples all over India, Thailand and Cambodia. Hindus offer flowers as puja as well, alongside fruits and small trinkets. The ancient Japanese practise of ikebana ( i have touched on this before here) still survives today and the oldest known book on flower-arranging was printed by the Japanese in 1445. Simplicity and linear form are key characteristics of ikebana, features that have hugely influenced Western flower arranging since the late 19th century. In Europe, flower arranging as a formal art was first documented among the Dutch, who created beautiful tumbling, flowing arrangements of flowers for paintings. Many of the famous Dutch masters such as Rembrandt, whose paintings are displayed in the finest galleries the world over, feature large flower arrangements. In fact, many florists used these still lives as inspiration for their own design work. In the 18th century, arrangements were used to decorate the houses of the wealthy families and the aristocracy. I'm glad that flowers can be enjoyed by everyone now and not just those privileged enough to afford them. A stroll on a summers day will gift said stroller with an abundance of wild blooms, all for free. Blessings indeed. Flower symbolism is of course common in many cultures and the meanings can be conflicting, odd and slightly random. The language of flowers continues to fascinate me, i just wish there were ore flowers that had meanings i could apply to my own life. I particularly love that in China, certain flowers symbolise seasons: white plum blossoms for winter, peach and cherry blossoms for spring, lotus for summer, and chrysanthemums for autumn. I think the sunflower would have to symbolise summer here in Scotland or possibly daisies. Or sweet peas. I love summer. Almost everyday i can make a new bouquet or arrangement using wild foraged blooms and few garden finds to adorn our house. The custom of bunched flowers or bouquets is an ancient one; since medieval times flowers have been worn around the head or on the body by women who believed that the aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs and spices would ward off evil spirits. In the 18th century, the era of the language of flowers, women carried nosegays or tussie mussies as a fashion statement (and likely to ward of the stench!). The term “nosegay” derives from Middle English and basically means an ornament that appeals to the nose. These are small posies of flowers also known as taking bouquets due to the messages behind each of the blooms. It was perhaps then that giving bunches of flowers (in western culture) as gifts began; tussie mussies were of course passed between secret lovers as a token of their sentiments. The bouquets were traditionally arranged in a posey style then wrapped in a cone shaped container or doily with a chain to allow the recipient to carry and show it off. To this day, florists still wrap flowers in a cone shaped paper, in fact i just did it today. A bunch of flowers, when wrapped, becomes a gift and in my experience people are much more likely to purchase flowers arranged and shrouded in paper. The history behind wedding bouquets is largely the same: women carried them to ward of evil spirits and mask th smell of body odour. Apparently some edible flowers such as dill and marigold were added to the bridal bouquets and then served at the wedding feast as an aphrodisiac? I have also read that brides were viewed to be very lucky so guests would literally try to rip parts of her dress off! The tradition of throwing the bouquet was literally born out of necessity for the poor bride to protect herself, so she chucked her flowers to distract the frenzied crowds trying to tear some luck from her body. Like throwing meat for a pack of lions. Yikes.
In my own flower news (my most important and indeed only news really), i planted some seeds weeks ago, when i got home from Canada- I have 6 strong sunflower plants (though not enough sun for them to flourish i fear) a few nigella and scabiosa plus maybe 1 zinnia. Something ate the former. Also, i have some little cactus in my room and one has suddenly, after almost 3 years, decided to grow a few white flowers. How sweet. The wild yarrow is flowering and rosebay willowherb is starting to explode and shower the roadsides with magenta spires. Its not called fireweed (it spreads like a wildfire) for nothing. Himalayan balsam is also flowering and marsh orchid, elderflower, dog rose, alchemilla, cow parsley, clover, vetch, corncockle, knapweed, meadowsweet, feverfew (my favourite) some red campion, towering foxgloves, buttercups and daisies of course plus many others. Flower safari season is upon us! As i run each morning my eyes scour the hedgerows for new growth, familiar blooms and unknown flowers alike; the difference a few days makes is quite astonishing. I rarely make it home without a few precious stems clutched in my hands or tucked into my hair. I’ve taken to keeping some scissors in my bag when i'm out, so i'm always ready to cut anything i feel like. Perhaps its my own paranoia but i cant help but feel like people are judging me for cutting flowers, like i am stealing them. They are WILD people! I take only a few from each patch and i am always mindful of what i pick. I promise. Except if i spot a stray rose poking through someone’s hedge, in that case i will almost certainly cut it so i’m definitely guilty. I'm under a flower spell, i can’t help it. I dont want to help it. I like to keep lots of little arrangements placed all around the house while there is such an abundance to enjoy; this season is fleeting so best make the most of it. I have started helping out at the flower farm in the west end again, picking and arranging once a week. They grow all my favourite classic style blooms totally organically and feed the profits back into the community. I could happily pick flowers all day as long as i got to arrange them as well. Most of these photos are from what i picked there. My friend emailed me today and she said: "just follow the flowers” which i deem to be excellent advice indeed. So i will. Who knows where they will lead.
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Holiday: noun; an extended period of leisure and recreation, especially one spent away from home or in travelling. Portugal was blissful; blue skies, colourful buildings, delicious peaches, beautiful tiles, maze-like streets , agapanthus strewn borders, swaying palm trees and yellow palaces. My lovely friend Julia was a wonderful companion and i actually genuinely had a good time. I started to feel quite hopeful in fact; i stopped thinking so much about life, some dark clouds lifted and i thought that maybe i’d be okay. Then i got home, my brain switched back on and I abruptly remembered that i didn't know what to do and in fact I didn’t even know what to do about that and quite suddenly i was back on the wheel again. That's what i picture: i’m frantically running on a hamsters wheel and its going so fast i cant get off then sometimes it slows and i step onto the earth, safe in the stillness. Only it starts back up again and next thing i know im back on the wheel, running and spinning, the world a blur that i can see but i cant reach. Enough of that. There’s something about being on holiday that feels good for the soul. Long term travelling spanning over months as i usually do is honestly no holiday, it often felt much more like an endurance. But being away for a short time with the sole intent of exploring, soaking up the sun and enjoying yourself is a truly lovely thing. I appreciate that i am incredibly privileged to be able to go and i’m so so grateful for it. Really orbrigada universe. My last few days were spent in the small seaside town of Cascais, reading on the beach, wandering through the colourful alleys and watching the boats at the marina. I took lots of photos, ate sorbet and breathed in the salty sea air; being at the ocean is my very favourite place to be. The cliffs and the sand and the endless horizon make me feel rejuvenated, inspired and alive. While i wandered snapping away, the words “Journeys through a broken lens” sprung into my mind. Some context: my lens does not focus and it hasn’t for years so every photo i take i need to manually focus which means that i really have to think about what i'm doing or the photo will be blurry. Its a slow process and not great for quick snaps but it forces me to be more creative. Consequently, a lot of my travels of late have been captured through a broken lens. Our eyes are human lenses of course, they allow us to see and experience the beauty all around us, capturing it in our memories. I believe that sometimes when you are feeling very low or anxious, what you see is distorted and blurred; the beauty is there but you can’t experience it fully because you, yourself, feel a little broken. So those words can apply in both those way to me. I have too much time to think, right?! My brief experience of Portugal afforded me a little peek at the culture; laidback, colourful and friendly. I loved seeing happy people sitting out on the plazas until late in the evening, enjoying good food and company. A lot of positives came from my week away and im happy i went; i also acquired a tan and some vitamin D which im going to need! Scottish summer is a different breed entirely. Back to reality: I wish i felt better, i wish i woke up each day excited to be alive and full of passion and ideas and positivity. So many people are able to pull themselves out of the darkness with creativity but not me. I feel frustrated and lost and hopeless and guilty and ashamed. Often all at once. Its not an inspiring environment for ideas. I spend my days trying to escape myself and the suffocating anxiety and brooding depression that threatens and follows me. It never really leaves. I dont want to take ownership of those issues, speaking about "my anxiety" or "my depression" gives them a presence and a place in my life that they are not welcome to. So i will continue to try my best, to get up every day (like we all have to), even when I dont really feel like I can and just get on with it. Its forced though, like i'm tolerating the day but not appreciating it, so its muted and watered down and that is a waste of the life i was given. I don't just want to exist, I want to achieve things, be someone and make a difference somehow. I never wanted to settle but here i am, a shadow lurking in the corners of my own life, unable to brave the light. One day?
It’s so hard to believe that though, I've been my own enemy for a long time. Honestly i’d just like to be able to sit and read a book in peace or do some yoga without feeling agitated, panicked and unable to focus. Please and thank you. I did manage when i was on holiday but at home, the panic of WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY BLOODY LIFE sets in and relaxation is a futile hope. Anyway (my mind says), why should i relax, when there are things to be done? I’ve been in this cycle for years and i still have no answer to my own questions and i'm no closer to figuring them out. I look too hard, expect too much and frankly, care far too much as well. I dont know how to be any other way. Im the human embodiment of anxiety, an endless enigma and a bloody pain in my own ass. And im really really sorry for being like this. Great Jenna, just great. BUT i am so grateful for my mum and dad, my sisters, my home and the privileged life i was given. Truly i am so thankful, i just wish i could give back to the world and earn all the gifts that have been bestowed upon me. I want to so badly. Stay well friends, keep your eyes open and your mind strong. May creativity adorn you like jewels. If not now then soon. There and back again, a lost humans tale by Jenna’s Clyne. I have gracelessly stolen those words from Tolkien’s Bilbo Baggins because they are literally my life in essence. I went to Canada, i came back. It wasn’t for me, now i dont know what next. Just like every other trip. Round and round we go. There's only so mnay times one person can pick themselves back up after yet another failure. Its blatantly clear that as i am the only constant of every situation: i am, in fact, the problem. Great. Anyway, in brighter news, its summer now so there are flowers everywhere, peeking out of hedgerows, bursting from garden borders, blanketing any empty space with petals and leaves. For me, there can be no greater joy than picking an armful of wild flowers to arrange; it brings me a sense of peace that nothing else really can. Its fleeting, like the flowers themselves but i'm really grateful for it. Before i left Canada, i decided spent a few days in Montreal. Its a fantastic city full of beautiful buildings, quirky shops, colourful street art and friendly french speaking people. Plus lots of parks- an absolute must for a city to win me over. I found myself able to breathe for the first time in months, i felt free as i wandered the streets with no destination or schedule. I shook off my dirty farm clothes and felt clean, lighter and vaguely human again. One rainy afternoon, I made a very good decision by visiting the Montreal Botanical Garden. Paradise found! I lost myself for hours amongst the ferns, the cacti and exquisite bonsai in the greenhouses, i felt like Alice in (plant)Wonderland. On a side note, i was actually going to be named Alice before Jenna was decided on...When i eventually emerged, the grounds waiting for exploration were just as incredible and i really needed more days to take it all in. Some highlights for me included the Japanese garden, the shade garden and the medicinal plant beds. The serene, quiet beauty of zen garden design is so inspiring. Everything has its place from the puff ball peonies, to the gentle trickling water, the delicate scented irises and the custom made wooden pavilion. Its all designed to create a sense of peace and tranquillity which it certainly did. The shade garden was full of plants that are familiar to me, solomons seal, lily of the valley, aquilegia and hellebores to name a few. I liked that garden for its wild understated charm. The medicinal plant garden was full of healing herbs and flowers; a vast collection of plants that have been utilised by humans for centuries. Plants are the true healers on earth for sure and i found myself yearning once more to dig deeper and learn more about them. Im working on it. I left feeling totally overwhelmed but in a good way. I took far too many pictures and really i should not be allowed alone into a garden. My poor camera was worked hard that day though honestly most of my pictures are a bit dull. I did have fun taking them so thats what counts!. I was really struck by the passion and work that is poured into the collections. Its a truly lovely thing that humans care enough about nature to go to such lengths to preserve plants; it gives me hope. I’ve been sketching a bit lately, nothing much and nothing impressive but it has birthed a few realisations. The first: when i try to draw from my imagination, literally nothing comes into my mind. Not a thing. Blank space. Secondly, no matter how hard i try to copy something, it will not look remotely similar. So, once i embraced those 2 truths, I simply drew some flowers and leaves in my own unique, pretty crappy way. There will be no masterpieces created by my hands but that's okay. Who said art was always accurate or indeed beautiful? No one whose opinion i care about; it's an individuals interpretation. I find it quite fascinating that when we try to force action, to force creativity and ideas, they will not come. It flows when we least expect it, when our minds are relaxed and free from force or obligation. For me anyway, the harder i try to think of new ideas and plans, the further those things run from me. Back to the blank space. Its when i'm out running or walking that i am able to hear the faint whispers of new ideas; the quiet suggestions are sometimes enough to get the ball rolling. I often drop the ball and the idea rolls far away but maybe it will come back when i’m ready to listen again.
I'm going to Lisbon next week, just for 7 days and not really for any reason. Maybe thats reason enough. A friend i met in Canada will also be there for some of the time and im really looking forward to exploring sun drenched streets, marvelling at the beauty of the city and seeking out vegan ice cream with her. I'm alone so often that i forget how nice it is to share experiences with others. Do i have the money to spare? No, but what is money for if not for spending? Travel enriches us in more ways than anything can so even if i only have a little, im glad to spend it on an adventure. A very mini one for me but that makes it more exciting- i can take a tiny bag and i’ll barely have to plan anything! I'm desperately hoping to leave some anxiety behind along with other unnecessary items and unhelpful traits. please. I find it difficult to feel excited these days (there lots of blankness) but i am looking forward to it in my own muted way. Stay well friends; find the light, bask in the sunshine, pick the flowers. |
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