Lily of the valley- return of happiness Lily of the valley: Convallaria majalis is a sweetly scented though highly poisonous woodland flowering plant, native throughout the temperate northern hemisphere of Asia and Europe. It flowers in late spring, often covering vast areas of ground due to its extensive underground rhizomes that cause it to spread. The stems grow to around 15-30 cm high, the leaves are roughly the same height. The flowers are pure white (very rarely pink) and look like fat little bells clustered around the top of the stem. It is also sometimes called our lady's tears, a name born from a Christian legend that during Jesus' Crucifixion, Mary's tears turned into the flower. A similar tale is told of Eve's tears.Another legend tells of a love story between a lily of the valley and a nightingale that only returned to the woods when the flower bloomed in May. I love stories. As humans, we are all in a pursuit of happiness. It's something we all strive for and ultimately what many of us believe is the whole point of life. How sad it is that so many of us struggle to feel the warm, comforting arms of joy. Its tragic actually; this magnificent earth is abundant in amazing beings and sights, so much so that i feel like happiness should be a default. Alas, it is not the case. Last week on a damp morning, myself and my lovely new flower friend Anna, were out gathering blooms to adorn the house. We became incredibly excited b the remarkable abundance sprouting up along the pond. Solomons seal! Hellebore! Water primrose! Foxgloves! Lily of the valley! I think I was most excited about the latter. The dense cluster of tiny white bells carpeting the ground set my heart a flutter. They are so tiny, you could almost miss them actually; their waxy leaves shield them from the elements. And the unsuspecting human eye. I returned later to pluck a few scented stems for a bouquet; i did some research and discovered their beautiful message. A return of happiness. Recent days have found my mood plumetting downwards, more of a retreat from happiness really. But it wont always be like this. As usual, i've been doing a lot of thinking. Particularly about happiness; the real kind that seeps deep into your soul and makes your heart swell. When i think back to my childhood, to times before anxiety and vicious self hatred got in the way, joy was such a simple, easy part of life. My favourite things included: new art supplies, sunny evenings playing with my sister on the trampoline, the cosy Christmas season, being allowed to play outside for hours and just generally being around my family and friends. Life as it was made me happy. Adulthood brings great liberty but also thick shackles. The carefree days of youth are gone; we have decisions to make, expectations to fulfill, responsibilities to honour. For some of us, those things are a real struggle. I am mature and capable in many ways but the increasing pressure to have attained a career, a partner, a home, a social life, and many other things, all while being happy and healthy is nigh impossible for me. I have always felt so overwhelmed and scared of the adult world; how was everyone coping with so much on their plate? It continues to baffle me and I continue to be a shell of who i could potentially be. Maybe for me, happiness must be simplicity. Strip it all back, remove unnecessary stresses, find the balance; return to happiness. This is not a claim that I have found happiness, I haven't but I want to. And I hope that anyone else who feels the same will find some comfort in my honesty. I see no point in pretending all is well when it isn't. I no longer accept only a handful of happy moments each year. .I refuse to settle for this numbed okay-ness that i feel on the very best days; its not enough. I want that bursting heart, blood pumping, full throttle joy. Or even just to laugh until it hurts again. I miss that. Lily of the valley is a perennial flower meaning that each spring it arrives of its own accord. May is the month that this little flower feels safe and happy in so that's when it blooms. I so believe in the divine power of plants, they can decide not to blossom, the seeds can fail to germinate or rot; blooming is their choice. For us, things are more complicated but we can still choose what to expend our energy on and how to use our time; things we love deserve space in our lives. Whatever makes us happy is exactly what we should do- reading our favourite book, a few stolen moments in the sunshine, dancing, singing, drawing- anything. We all know what takes us to our happy place so what stops us going there? Don't allow life to climb on top of you and rob you of time to enjoy yourself; despite what society says, busy-ness and hectic schedules are not essential to success or worthy of admiration. Not at all. Unless those people are happy, in which case- great. We are all so different, that becomes more apparent to me with every person i meet. Its fascinating and i think vital to keep this big old world interesting.
Personally, i need my quiet moments alone with my camera, foraging for pretty flowers to arrange, time for a leisurely run and free days to fill as i please. Sometimes i also just need to lie down and do a whole lot of nothing. Structure and routine is good but not rigidity. Often we all just need to recharge ourselves. The pursuit of happiness can drain our human batteries pretty fast. Happiness is not something to force though, it's a natural state of being. If you feel sad, feel it but try to do something that usually makes you happy, even if only to distract from the darkness. To return to happiness, we must allow ourselves to find the joy again. Happiness cannot be lost as it never goes away; what does disappear is our ability to feel it. It gets hidden amidst a sea of anxieties and stresses but if we come up for air, break through to the surface, joy can filter through once more. Just as the sun beams on a dense dark woodland floor, happiness too can penetrate our deepest gloom. Remember what you love, allow yourself time to enjoy those things and be kinder to yourself. I'll try if you will.
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LittlebirdJenna. Free spirit, flower enthusiast, seeker of truths. Archives
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